20th April 2018
Established 1872. Online since 1996.

Tochts fae Tushie Truncherface

Da nicht afore da Trowie Show.

Celebrities aa git a brak fae dir wark sometime ower da summer. An mine wis lang owerdue. So I wis da blyde tae fin a younger, mair talented an better laek writer tae tak ower fae me dis mont. I fen her at da Waas Show.An wid you believe, she’s human!

Vaila Walterson, age 12, fae Wastburrafirt, is weel acquanted wi trows. She aften gengs furt tae meet wi een caaed Thomasina Muckletae. Her freendship wi Thomasina has helped Vaila win da Bertie Deyell Memorial Cup for dialect writin at da Waas Show tree times noo. Dis is da story she won da cup wi dis year. Hit is aboot Thomasina an aa her sisters gittin ready for da Trowie Show. Whit a kerry on!

So set you doon wi a fine cup o tay ready tae enjoy Vaila’s story. I ken I will.

Tushie Truncherfaece x

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Da nicht afore da trowie show, der wis an aafil kerry on in da trowie knowe.

Thomasina Muckletae an her sisters wir makin ready aa der entries. Thomasina heyd entered an aafil lot o’ bakin’. She wiz busy makin a slaetter sponge cake, peerie clock brunies an her famous forky-tail bannocks.

Willamina wis wirkin affil herd wi her openwark an shewin’. She’d shewn tageedir an affil bonnie pair o’ rivlins,an a lovely peerie joopie, an hed entered twa moorit gravits asweel.

Peterina wis oot in da hills lookin fir wild flooers fir da show. Anderina wis wirkin on da most lovely flooer arrengment. She wis used siggies, lucky meenie’s oo, sooriks, grice-ingans, dockins an even twartree nettles.

Josaphina hed entered her pet whitrit Rasmie. She wis sittin at hom commin his fur efter she’d geen him a bath in da burn. She’d even used her special mooild an saat waater shampoo on him!

Georgina an Robina hed both entered vegetables. dey hed tatties, neeps, kale, rhuburb an some ingans too.

Semolina hedd in aa kind o’ wine. Der wis blackcurrent, redcurrent, gooseberry, hillberry, fern, nettle, kecksie, arvie, craa-tae, drewie line, tang an waar an even a bottle o’ paddick stool wine! She sampled ivery wan!

Fir saek a kerry on in da knowe dat nicht! Dae wir floor mell flyin, cloos o’ wirsit, dead laves an flooer staaks. Der wis whitrit hair, an moild aff o’ da tatties, der wis bottles o’ ivery shape an size, an right in da hert o’ it aa, a whitrit wiz runnin roond!

At wan o’ clock in da morneen dey wan awaa tae der beds. Dae wir aa debaetless even da whitrit wis worn himsel’ oot!

Vaila Walterson