Footballers indulging in the wrong kind of dribbling

Town councillors are not amused by naughty Shetland footballers who have taken to peeing next to the Clickimin pitches.

The problem has come to light since Shetland Islands Council shut the old public toilets at Lochside earlier this year to save £5,000 a year. It seems that many of the fit young men cannot be bothered to run the few hundred yards to the Clickimin Centre changing rooms to relieve themselves.

One community councillor claimed a footballing policeman had been seen doing what he would normally arrest people for.

Lerwick Community Council is trying to get somebody to take responsibility and clamp down on the ghastly new public spectacle – so far with little success, although the season is now over for this year. Having written to the Shetland Football Association and Shetland Recreational Trust an effort is now to be made to involve the Shetland Works League, whose players are being blamed for much of the bad behaviour.

Shetland Football Association is to discuss the matter at its meeting this month.

If the three sporting groups don’t sort it out then referees will be approached. Community council chairman Jim Anderson said they could book players for urinating in public.

He was scathing when one community councillor bemoaned the inconvenience caused by closing the public toilets due to cuts. The chairman contrasted the supposed hardship for footballers who could not be bothered to walk a few yards to the centre with the real inconvenience facing hundreds of schoolchildren who will have to sit on buses for hours every day if the council shuts their schools.

During the discussion on the issue at Monday’s meeting of the community council, SIC councillor Peter Campbell said it was now at the stage of becoming a West End farce. He thought the toilets should be opened for six months during summer and the football season to provide a common sense solution.

But council convener Malcolm Bell said if the saving was not found there it would have to come from somewhere else. He appealed to the footballers to have some decency, adding that women sports players who use the pitches were not seen relieving themselves in the open air.

One hope is that Shetland Recreational Trust will take over the old toilets and have its park attendant open them during matches. But community councillor Emma Williamson suggested that if the footballers were given a mop and bucket and ordered to clean the toilets they would soon be happily running to the Clickimin Centre instead.

The public toilets were closed as part of the cuts agreed by Shetland Islands Council in February.


Add Your Comment
  • Tommy Robertson

    • October 2nd, 2012 16:33

    Bloody ridiculous.

    Until they ban all the disgusting folk letting thier dugs pish al ower the toon, let the boys pee whar they want.


  • G Smith

    • October 2nd, 2012 18:01

    How about the councillors take responsibilty for shutting the public toilets, at a ridiculous saving of £5000.

  • Joe johnson

    • October 2nd, 2012 18:04

    The Footballers have no excuses. If its only a few hundred yards to the clickimin toilets then surely it should be no problem for them to use them instead of unrinating in the open.

  • Colin Hunter

    • October 2nd, 2012 18:12

    Bit hypocritical o dem seein it wis da cooncil dat closed da bog! I totally agree regardin Dogs though. It’s no just da solid waste dat’s objectionable. As far as avin money goes, Why no open da bogs again an close da Clickimin Centre, an aa da rest while dir at it! We need necessities, no luxuries! I bet da leisure centres cost a darn sight mair as £5000 a year ta rin!

  • michael grant

    • October 2nd, 2012 20:15

    The players aint going to go back into clickimin once they are outside at the pitch as the doors are locked and you have to take off your muddy boots before going in.Sorry to say it cooncilors unless you open said toilets nothing going to change.But i would also say dog poo is a bit more off a serious problem around said area and what you doing about that?

  • Gary Peterson

    • October 2nd, 2012 22:42

    I think it is terrible that the public toilets are closed, and I dispute the saving of £5000. It’s a joke! Also Shetland has very high instances of bowel diseases, and these people can’t run to the Clickimin.They should be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

  • Margaret Goodlad

    • October 3rd, 2012 7:32

    Well said guys. I never did see the mentality of closing the bogs. I’m an older wife and enjoy a walk/run aroond da toon. Winder whit da cooncilers wid have ta say if I was doin a Paula Radcliff?

  • Rosa Steppanova

    • October 3rd, 2012 10:15

    Male incontinence seems to be wide-spread in Shetland, but is a subject rarely discussed in public. Evidence of this epidemic, both visual and olfactory, has been around for decades, and not only on football fields, as the victims are compelled to frequently relieve themselves in other public places.
    Pelvic floor exercises are said to ameliorate the condition, but need to be carried out for several weeks before bringing the desired results. In the meantime, the unfortunate sufferers may want to equip themselves with something discrete, masculine and practical, such as a “Stadium Pal”, a male external catheter portable toilet system, to save themselves and others further embarrassment (grants may be available from Shetland Charitable Trust). For more information please go to:

  • Jim Fraser

    • October 3rd, 2012 10:52

    If the SIC can’t capably assess the effect of closing down a public toilet what chance do the bairns have with regard to the proposed school closures!!

  • Gordon Harmer

    • October 3rd, 2012 12:53

    Female incontinence ( the verbal kind ) seems to be prevalent once more. Jaw exercises i.e. clamp it shut before foot falls in brings the desired result.

  • Johan Adamson

    • October 3rd, 2012 13:16

    It seems we are having to close down vital services to pay for other extravagances such as keeping a massive workforce at the SIC. We have to stop this surely.

    The SIC solution will obviously be to give a massive grant to the football clubs to build their own facilities somewhere handier for them for use after dark and then the weemin can have a pee too, rather than the cheaper option of re-opening the existing toilets. And rather than having people apprehended.

  • Ian Walterson

    • October 3rd, 2012 13:22

    I agree with everyone who is saying that this toilet should be re opened as it its not just a simple case of going a few hundred yards to the clickimin toilets at half time. Walking over a paved surface with alloy screw in studs is actually dangerous as they are quite slippy and whould also have the effect of roughening/sharpening studs with obvious dangers when back on the pitch. As Michael has already said, boots are not allowed in the centre and would have to be removed, and probably best removed at the side of the pitch leaving players to walk there and back in their sock feet. There is also a very short half time break when players get a team talk from their manager leaving no time to go back to the centre before the 2nd half starts. Remember that it is not just the players who may need to use the toilet, there is also the referee, coaching staff and spectators.
    It seems that Councillor Peter Campbell is one of the only SIC elected members with a grain of wit who can suggest common sense solutions to problems. Also the suggestion that SRT open the toilets when matches are being played could perhaps be a workable idea.
    I note that someone is blaming Shetland Works League players for much of the bad behaviour. This is a rediculous thing to say as I am quite sure that the average bladder size of a Works League player is no different from those players from other leagues.

  • john Irvine

    • October 3rd, 2012 13:59

    It just goes to show how incompetent this council is, they close public toilets but continue to squander millions on unnecessary rubbish, I would like to know where they get their cost of £5000 a year for someone to look after this toilet? I bet there is plenty of folk who would be delighted to work for half that! It would only take 2 or 3 hrs a week at the most which is about £35 per hr.

  • Linda Brown

    • October 4th, 2012 2:32

    I wonder how much it cost for the consultant fees to decide how much the toilets cost for each year. The council no doubt paid someone to come up with that figure. Why doesn’t the council hire the football boys a porta loo for the season it would probably work out cheaper. They could go for the classic fort option of a frytol bucket and a couple of sheets of plywood. I am sure one of their numerous well paid members could be put on a rosta to empty it once a week.

  • James Stewart

    • October 4th, 2012 9:01

    I haven’t heard the rugby players being reported for similar acts of indecency.

  • Ian Walterson

    • October 4th, 2012 10:58

    Maybe rugby players are ”better bred” than footballers,University graduate types etc. and would never dream of committing such acts of indecency. Or perhaps their genes equip them with a larger than average bladder size. Another theory could be that rugby players work much harder on the pitch than footballers, exerting more physical effort resulting in body fluid loss through sweat and at half time they actually take on more fluid instead of having a pish.

    The SIC are proposing to close public toilets at various locations throughout Shetland with the possibility that Community Councils could maintain them instead. Perhaps Lerwick CC should seriously consider re opening this toilet instead of complaining about the problem that has arisen from it’s closure.

  • T Goodlad

    • October 5th, 2012 20:48

    Surely it would make sense for the Clickamin Centre to operate the Lochside Toilets & it would be to there benifit as well.

  • James J Paton

    • October 6th, 2012 10:04

    Da Cooncil really and literally takin’ da pish!

    Cood der no be a twa widden portaloos biggit wi buckets athin dem an alang side a ting fur da gress clippins fae da parks. Da urine wid help compost da gress for community compost facilitiy, or am I spikin **ite?

  • Stuart Hannay

    • October 7th, 2012 16:16

    Could it be something to do with them having different shaped balls?

  • John Anderson

    • October 7th, 2012 17:18

    The community Councillors seem to recognise there is no SIC money, and are sensibly suggesting that since it is sportsmen who need these toilets, it is an SRT responsibility. An SIC Councillor, Peter Campbell, meant to be fully versed in the budget situation, can only think of chucking SIC money at it, and cutting from…where, instead? This really is appalling, given what staff are going through to claw in every little saving. We are meant to respect Elected Members, but it’s left here to the unpaid CC reps to show the SIC the lead here.


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